My Financial Ineptitude Has Come To Bite Me In The Ass

And now I’ve got to fix it before it’s too late (or maybe it is already)

Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash

I’m enjoying a long awaited, and very much needed vacation.

I spent a week in North Carolina with my parents, both in their 80’s whom I haven’t seen in a few years. A bonus was getting some quality time in with my sister, brother-in-law, nephews, and niece whom I haven’t visited with in a number of years. The kids are grown now and either in or graduated from college.

This separation of course is my fault. I should have made a point of visiting sooner but I didn’t and that’s on me…oh well.

Week two of our two week vacation is being spent in a small town on a barrier island in northern Florida at a long-time friends home located between a bay and the Gulf of Mexico. Let me tell you it is beautiful here and a place I could see spending my remaining years in.

This however, is only the backdrop for this article..

Envy vs. Jealousy

I’ve been struggling to try to define what I am feeling. Is it envy, or is it jealousy, and I’ve settled on envy.

I am so happy for our friends being able to retire in such an ideal place, and in a new home that they built for themselves.

It isn’t a mansion by any means, but instead a three bedroom home of modest size that fits them perfectly and will serve them well as they venture into their later years.

ENVY: a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.

While both jealousy and envy are somewhat distasteful emotions, envy was the least distasteful of the two, though not entirely accurate. The reason I say this is that I have no ill-will towards them or what they’ve acquired through their own hard work.

So what’s the problem?

So where is my anger…and envy coming from?

The anger is anger at myself. My financial condition, which is not the best, is of my own doing and no one else’s.